The "4" is for "foreplay"

"Celebrate the birth of your country by blowing up a small part of it!"

Classic words spoken to Homer Simpson as he attempts to purvey illegal fireworks (along with condoms, cigarettes and smut mags as I recall) from Apu's Cape Cod counterpart. Being presented with the M-320, supposedly 4 times as powerful as the M-80!

Simple math can tell you that. However, if your inner mathlete persona also happens to be a bit of a pyro you'll know that an M-320 is a FULL STICK of TNT. Hot shit I want one!

Misfortune ala Porkchop Sandwiches befalls Homer as he tries to light the stick, but instead of one of America's elite soldiers from the counter-terrorist organization known as GI JOE barging in and "OH SHIT GET THE FUCK OUT!," he is panicked and secures the explosive in the dishwasher.

The fine china had it coming. Seriously, what was with all that creepy shit going down in Beauty and the Beast? And how do you think Beast feels knowing that a significant portion of his culinary staff have felt the lips of his woman? On which parts? I don't know what the fucking anatomy of a human transmogrified to a spoon is!

And to think that whole mess was tossed into an autonomous sink who had to deal with the clap and cold sores. If anything, that M-320 was doing the dishwasher a favor.

Two birds, one stone. And I didn't even need a rail gun!

What would I do if I had an M-320 though? Strap it to a lawn chair and blast off to the moon. That'll show that helium ballon punk who's boss...

Happy belated Independence Day!